As of late, I’ve been having a serious case of mood swings (ladies, you know why)…but it’s more severe than usual, and I can’t pinpoint why. I spend most of my days alone with Simon, and the time difference from the Midwest makes it difficult to talk to my family as much as I’d like. I’ve gotten disheartened by some of my bad habits (guilty of finishing off a pint of Ben&Jerry’s in two nights), down on myself for not being artistic, and generally lackluster about my style. I wish I could do everything myself, and sometimes I try. Like redesigning Caviar Dreams (which was a total fail this weekend). But I have to face it sometime–I can’t be good at everything. And who said I had to be?
Growing up I knew what I was “good at.” Making up stories and drawing to my heart’s content. But growing up complicated things and I’ve since expanded my focus to fashion and design and blogging (of course). They all seem to be a package deal nowadays, and I’m scared to admit I don’t have myself figured out as much as I thought I would (at this stage and age). For instance, I’ve been asking my mom an ungodly amount of questions about style, when frankly, I don’t even have the funds to do anything about it (like take advantage of Nordies anniversary sale (the one good department store we have in Alaska)). I feel like I am pretty good adorning my home, but myself? Not so much. I won’t lie, I’ve been struggling with it. And it really bothers me that I can’t just let go for some reason. But enough about that.
It’s been difficult for me to not put these exasperations onto Ethan–I haven’t really been feeling the love when he comes home, and he really noticed yesterday. While I washed up for the night, he made us some s’mores and put in Mulan–I walked out of the bathroom with clean hair and toasted mallows filling the air. It was nice. A nice switch for me to start being better. Not that I want you to think I am complaining. My life is pretty good right now…it’s just my head is working overtime and I can’t shut it off.
Being better for me is going to include a few things. I’m going to make sure I go on more walks with Simon, hopefully more than two miles each day (yeah, sounds like a big deal). I’m going to write more for pleasure (although I bank a lot of words here, I also like fiction). And last, I’m going to floss more than once a day. I have no excuse not to.
If this is too personal, well, I’m not sorry (for once). I want to keep it real (some of my favorite bloggers have inspired me to do so). As for the images, I just like them…pun intended =).