As of late, I’ve been having a serious case of mood swings (ladies, you know why)…but it’s more severe than usual, and I can’t pinpoint why. I spend most of my days alone with Simon, and the time difference from the Midwest makes it difficult to talk to my family as much as I’d like. I’ve gotten disheartened by some of my bad habits (guilty of finishing off a pint of Ben&Jerry’s in two nights), down on myself for not being artistic, and generally lackluster about my style. I wish I could do everything myself, and sometimes I try. Like redesigning Caviar Dreams (which was a total fail this weekend). But I have to face it sometime–I can’t be good at everything. And who said I had to be?
Growing up I knew what I was “good at.” Making up stories and drawing to my heart’s content. But growing up complicated things and I’ve since expanded my focus to fashion and design and blogging (of course). They all seem to be a package deal nowadays, and I’m scared to admit I don’t have myself figured out as much as I thought I would (at this stage and age). For instance, I’ve been asking my mom an ungodly amount of questions about style, when frankly, I don’t even have the funds to do anything about it (like take advantage of Nordies anniversary sale (the one good department store we have in Alaska)). I feel like I am pretty good adorning my home, but myself? Not so much. I won’t lie, I’ve been struggling with it. And it really bothers me that I can’t just let go for some reason. But enough about that.
It’s been difficult for me to not put these exasperations onto Ethan–I haven’t really been feeling the love when he comes home, and he really noticed yesterday. While I washed up for the night, he made us some s’mores and put in Mulan–I walked out of the bathroom with clean hair and toasted mallows filling the air. It was nice. A nice switch for me to start being better. Not that I want you to think I am complaining. My life is pretty good right now…it’s just my head is working overtime and I can’t shut it off.
Being better for me is going to include a few things. I’m going to make sure I go on more walks with Simon, hopefully more than two miles each day (yeah, sounds like a big deal). I’m going to write more for pleasure (although I bank a lot of words here, I also like fiction). And last, I’m going to floss more than once a day. I have no excuse not to.
If this is too personal, well, I’m not sorry (for once). I want to keep it real (some of my favorite bloggers have inspired me to do so). As for the images, I just like them…pun intended =).
(images via)
Caviar Dreams 
I’ve been in a similar rut before. I promise it passes. I love the headboard in the picture above!
Thanks, I hoping sooner rather than later =)
thanks for being so real on your blog- it’s seriously appreciated!! I get what you mean when you’re feeling like you’re in a slump a bit. to get out of it- I always try to make lists or do little daily goals. like- sketch something every day, day a photo everyday for a year (and theme it or do something creative with it), do a cheapy pinterest DIY 1x per month, make a list of books you’ve always wanted to read and do it, write your bucket list down and plan how you can do it….sometimes its just the little things/distractions that help (along w/ time of course).
xoxo
I’ve got the reading down pat hehe, but I know I could benefit from that sketching exercise. Thanks Bun!
I had written a long message this morning and something happened and it never posted….anyway….I just mentioned how I wish I could take you out on a girls’ day! We all go through this I think in every stage of life no matter how old. And I’m sure the fact that you are so far from friends and family doesn’t help. How long have you been in Alaska? Like Bun mentiones above take advantage and do all the things you have wanted to do but haven’t ahd the opportunity….maybe take some classes, try new recipes…..Also I’m enjoying your blog….this is a great outlet. xx
Awww, that means so much to me! I literally smiled at the thought of a girls’ day =) I’ve been in Alaska for a little over a month now, but it feels like so much longer. My sister is coming to visit me in two weeks and three days…so excited!! And thanks for those suggestions–I’ll see what classes I can find around here =)
Dana, it’s wonderful catching up on what you’ve been up to this last week, but your honesty totally floored me. It’s tough to feel beautiful, creative, clever and talented (oh, and did I mention rolling in fabulous designer bags and new jewelry?) in the world of blogging, and it can feel crushing sometimes. But it’s also not the stuff that really matters–it’s the extras. And as far as I can see, you have heaps of amazing extras.
Thanks so much, Lena. You are so sweet =) Glad to see you are back!!