Conversationality | Sharing Christmas


I started the Christmas conversation even before Ethan was allowed to request leave.  I am a big family gal, talking to my sister and mom multiple times a day and Skyping every weekend or two.  I absolutely love waking up to everyone at home…and with all the puppies’ first Christmases I couldn’t not stay at home for our vacation.

Ethan had other plans.  The last time he was home was in March for nine days (part of which we spent on our honeymoon).  When I said I wanted to stay at parents, he said he wanted to stay at his.  And I thought, oh no.

Traveling home is stressful enough without the added pressures of dividing time between the homes.  Just with our simple first discussion, I knew neither of us were going to budge.  And that’s when I thought, well why don’t we stay at our respective homes?  Although we don’t come from the same towns, taking the back roads keeps travel time within fifteen minutes or so.  I wake up early and breakfast with my family, and Ethan sleeps in at his dad’s and hangs out with his brothers.  It almost feels like we are dating, funny enough!  The best part of the plan is that Simon is able to play with his brother and sister, take advantage of our fenced backyard, and have an extra three laps to lay on while relaxing in the evening.

We’ve been home for a week so far, and we’ve kept to our own families so far.  Ethan has come over for quaint dinners, but other than that, we have been “living separate lives.”  With Amanda heading back to Kansas City today, this week will be freer for me to drive to Jackson to visit both sides of Ethan’s family.  Tonight we have some dining and a portrait to take with his dad; Thursday is a grand meal with his mom’s side (Wednesday is still up for grabs).  Then Friday we are off to Alaska!  Is anyone else frowning?  I love being home.

How do you divvy up your holidays with multiple families?  Is it a source of family feuding or have years of practice served you well in scheduling?

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  1. funny you bring this up…as it’s a MAJOR fighting point between james and I. unfortunately, my day job forces me to work on xmas eve (and then back to work after the holiday!), which has basically kept me from traveling. james is from the east coast, and this will be our 3rd xmas where we actually spend it separately (him in CT, and me in CA). while this doesn’t bother me (and I think the time apart is actually a good thing)…he hates it.

    I’m sure at one point or another, my job schedule will change, and I will have to make the back east trip (if my mother can stand letting me go…). but that will be a whole other battle!

    1. Oi, just living fifteen minutes apart was hard enough for us! It’s harder on Ethan with separated parents. Sometimes it feels like a three way tug-of-war between his mom, step-mom, and me! I can’t imagine how difficult dealing with family on opposite coasts would be. Part of me is happy we are returning to Alaska before Christmas day…we’ll be avoiding a massive mess of holiday events that always turn into a big headache! Good luck in years to come. Maybe Thanksgiving for one family, Christmas for the other? And Halloween for you and your friends, since you love it so much =)

  2. Dana, this is a huge thing for me and Dan. I always feel bad for not seeing his family since they are in St Louis and we are here in Kansas City. We have started rotating holidays.. So last Thanksgiving we were in St Louis and this year we were here. Christmas we have done there the last 2 years, but we always find time to spend the night with my family right before we leave. Our parents realize they have to share us, so it has seemed to work out so far. I can only imagine how complicated it will get once we have kids though, wanting to share the holidays with all of our families.

    1. Wow, different cities must be so difficult! I have grown up under the impression that the holidays aren’t about the day on the calendar, but about the people you share your time with! It always helps when the parents understand; sharing is caring =)

      1. Sharing is caring! I agree with you also. It’s a learning process for our parents, but it will get better as the years go by I am sure. Your and Ethan’s system seems to work! 🙂

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