Restless

restless

Warning:  this post may feel choppy or disjointed.  It is a direct side-effect of the topic at hand.

Do you ever feel restless?  I can’t seem to overcome the feelings of wanting and waiting right now.  I’ve been spending my days too anxious to sit down and read/write.  If only I could get out and breathe and walk.  But everything is still iced over, and I don’t want to risk it.

I’m not entirely sure where restlessness comes from.  Maybe it’s caused by my desire to do too many things, to be too many things…and instead of making it happen, I make the same old choices and the desire just builds.  I’m ready to look into the mirror and see who I want to be.  But when I have the opportunity, I let it slide away.  Why is that, I wonder?

I’ve started wandering around the apartment, looking for things to occupy my time.

I am restless.

I’m afraid that my restlessness is linked to my hopes and dreams.  I’m afraid that I will never accomplish my goals.  I’m afraid of what will happen if I do.

I’ve been biting my nails nonstop.  I think the two are linked.

How gradual are most transformations?  How do you carry yourself while in transition?

I’ve been watching my hair, and I don’t think it’s growing.

I have set so many dates in my head of when I want to have everything “figured out.”  How long do these personal journeys last?

Is it better to keep trying or quit while I’m ahead not behind?

Just some thoughts for your Tuesday.

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5 comments

  1. Mary Ellen · · Reply

    As soon as the weather allows you need to take Simon boy on a long walk and enjoy the beauty of Alaska and clear your head!!!!

    1. You know I will!

  2. ^ I like what Mary Ellen said! Maybe you do need to get ‘out of your head’ a little bit…thinking too much…

    1. It’s hard not to! But I’ll work on it =)

  3. […] my post for today was posted yesterday (along with yesterday’s real post)!  So instead of leaving this day wide open, I decided to share a few things that me happy around […]

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